January '08 - Reon Kadena

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My brother's been putting up some cool vids on YouTube. I encourage you
to visit YouTube and do a search on JRCrowley.

Here's a dance remix version of JR's 'Pictures of You' vid.

You know how much I love stupid people, right? There's a lot of stupid people in the world. Oh, by the way, while I'm thinking of it, I want to make something clear right now about the state of our world, this being the new year and all. (I can do that here, say whatever I want, because I own this site.) Listen up: I don't care how left-leaning you are, that you recycle your plastics, ride a bike to work, take hikes in the woods on weekends; that you give a donation to the retarded every xmas, bag your groceries with paper, and hold open the door even if she's wearing a burqa, whatever. Here's what's important right now, so listen up: it's a war. It's not about countries, borders, the colour of your skin - it's about how you think. You like how you think? You want that taken away? I like Starbucks. And you like Oreos. Say what you want about the United States, but he's all we've got. He goes down, you go with him. So like the nut-job in this year's soon-to-be Oscar Winning Movie, No Country For Old Men, stop your bitching & complaining and "call it": heads you live, tails you die. Either you're with us, or you're not.

Now, about those stupid people back there. Here's some examples of just how dumb manufacturers think we are... and they're right, we're all really dumb. Recently there was a 'warning label' contest, the idea being to submit the dumbest warning labels you could find and win a prize. Here are the winners:

Honorable Mentions:

1) On a letter opener - "Caution: Safety goggles recommended."
2) On a Vanishing Fabric Marker - "The Vanishing Fabric Marker should not be used as a writing instrument for signing checks or any legal documents."

The winners:

3rd Place - A baby stroller with a small pouch for storage, "Do not put child in pouch."
2nd Place - Iron on t-shirt transfers that caution, "Do not iron while wearing."
Grand Prize - A farm tractor with warning, "Danger: Avoid Death."

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Speaking of dumb, The Onion has released a new book called "Our Dumb World (with 33% more Asia)". It's a travel guide. The book offers world travelers tips on what makes places tick. Here's a couple samples, in no particular order, in case you don't know your alphabet:

Belgium: site of violent 1974 Oompa Loompa riots
Chile: hands Across Chile (14 people)
Djibout - 60 percent of nation's water drawn from this mirage.
France - site of largest unpublicized D-Day beach volley ball game
Haiti - ...still feels percussions of Duvalier's "Two Machetes in Every Household" campaign
Japan: "Damn, the bullet train was late again, by 0.0003 seconds."
Kenya: where carbo loading means eating four grains of rice
Mongolia: fossils of dinosaurs indicate they died of boredom
Qatar: coolest spot in Qatar (91 degrees)
United Arab Emirates: 9,999 Dollar Store
and my favorite...
Vatican City: $4 billion monument to poverty

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If you've ever read anything on this site you know how much I like the LPGA. And if you know that, then you probably think it's because the Asians are taking over that tour. Well, that's probably true. The Asians are taking over that tour, and, that's exactly why I like watching the LPGA more than the PGA. But that's not the only reason.

Here's a couple more.