February 2008  


Out of the mouths of full grown adults.

I put that dancing chick-vid (below) on YouTube to see what people really wanted to look at, and sure enough, I wasn't disappointed. It's a popular video. What do people really want to look at? Well, I guess they want a Whole Lotta Ass-shaking. So I sent the link to my sister, who saw it and got back to me with, "Is she Malaysian?" Hmmm...and I thought that Puerto Rican flag I put on the wall in her living room was a dead give-away. Don't feel bad, cuz one of the women on American Idol thought Europe was a country. "Budapest? I never even heard of Budapest! I know they speak french there - is France a country?" You can't compete with that, so don't even try.

It was January. I'm at the post office, second in line. Stylish-looking black woman just ahead of me. She steps up to the window and asks the white teller, "Do you have any of the African American stamps available?"
Teller says, "They come out next month. February is African American Month."
"No kidding," says the customer, who looks at me with a 'wtf did I just hear that bitch say?' look on her face.

I'm at the post office again. (I missed xmas by almost a month this year.) I'm Waiting in line, again. A woman leaves the window after doing her postal business and starts walking out the door when the teller, from behind bullet proof glass, yells out, "Hey lady, this is no good!" and holds up a penny. The customer comes back with a confused look on her face, and the teller holds up the penny and repeats, "This penny is no good - it's Canadian!"
"Oh, sorry," says the woman.
Teller repeats, "Canadian pennies, they no good here."

I'm checking in at the doctors office. The front staff is yacking, I overhear them. One aks another:
"How ol' yo sun?"
"My sun bee 8 yea' ol'. Next yea' he be 9."

Ian Poulter, the golfer who wears his sister's clothes inside out, is quoted in the UK version of Golf Magazine as saying, "I really respect every professional golfer, but I know I haven't played to my full potential and when that happens, it will be just me and Tiger."

Did anyone watch the women's Aussie tennis finals between Sharapova & Ivanovic? Finally, a reason to watch tennis.

Oh yeah, finally, something about 'cooking on a diet' segment on TV that was demonstrated by an obese chef who must've weighed about 300 lbs. She was from TGIF, was a horrible cook, and kept talking about their low fat mahi mahi, as if there's some jacked up, gangsta' dolphin fish all over the ocean who've been stuffing their faces with Taco Bell and Coronas. Alas, TGIF only serves Mahi Mahi without a tattoo. The ones with tattoos get to do the dishes.

Next month it's how to make a salad.


Hollywood blockbusters. Here's my 3 cents. (1 min)

    Pornography. Latina webcam girl. Awesome. (3 min)