Dec '10

Merry Christmas! And before I forget, Kago wanted to also wish you a Merry Christmas too. She's been touring the US singing lounge music, in english! (trust me, she doesn't speak english) I asked her why, and she said, "I don't know why, because I don't speak english."
(I had to translate that, cuz like I said, she doesn't speak english, and even her Japanese isn't very good, plus, she mumbles.)

And if you don't believe all that, see for yourself. She's always doing some completely jackass, and that's one of the reasons we all love her so much.

 

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I won't lie, I was rooting all the way for Bristol Palin to win this year's Dancing With The Stars, but Jennifer Grey took home the mirror ball trophy. I have a question, "What did Jennifer Grey do to her face? Can that work be reversed? What was she thinking? What were her friends and family thinking? How come no one said, STOP!"

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A sign on my gym wall shows some regular good-looking guy lifting dumb bells and the ad reads, "At 24-Hour Fitness we know our members by name, not by their number." Wow. I've been going to the same gym for years and every time I walk in and hand them my membership card they ask me to produce a photo ID, and I always say, "I was here yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that, and I'll be here tomorrow too."

This new ad "we know you by name, not number" comes at a timely moment, since in recent months they've changed their door routine, where now you enter a code into a keypad and place your index finger on a scanner and wait until the scanner reads your fingerprint proving you are who say you are, and it spits out, "HAVE A GREAT WORKOUT!" So now I don't have to bother proving who I am anymore. And I say, Bravo, at least the machine remembers me.

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Hold your horses, you perv, the porn is somewhere on this page...

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News Flash: The LPGA has voted to allow transgender players to play on their tour. This comes as a result of a lawsuit filed by a California woman(?) who had her sex changed. The tour has changed it's policy regarding "female at birth" eligibility . This is good news for everyone except me, because the only reason I like to watch the LPGA is for the women, and there aren't too many of them, since half of them are dykes, and now they're allowing trannies!

To give you an idea of how serious a mistake this is, the first new member to take advantage of this change in policy is style setting, man-about-hooters, Arkansas trailer park dweller bon-vivant, John Daly. Well done, John, we love you, man.

 

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C'mon, you can't be serious. I think this is a disaster. However, Mi Hyun Kim, when asked for her opinion just shrugged and did this:

 

 

The reason why this reaction is so fitting is because the women are gamers, while the men's tour works hard to keep women out. Women are not welcome playing events on the PGA.

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Mi Hyun Kim (above) is my favourite player on that tour, all 5 feet, 90 pounds of her. (btw, she recently got married and had a kid, in that order.) But Kim's a good-natured girl and is willing to live and let live, but as a male spectator, I have concerns. If I had my choice between watching John Daly and Shi Hyun Ahn play golf, I think I'd take the latter. She's yummy. You be the judge:

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Lastly, congratulations to In-Kyung Kim for winning the Lorena Ochoa Invitational a couple weeks ago. She won 300 thousand, and the next day gave all the money away to charities in Mexico and the US. (She's from Korea.)

In-Kyung Kim:

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The best new sport to come around in decades is MMA. Some of you might feel this is a violent, brutal, unnecessary sport. You're right. But so is hockey, football and rugby. Last week the new Ultimate Fighter was crowned, and it was a well-deserving Jonathan Brookins. What I personally found astounding was that he came to the ring (cage) to the song, Dirty Harry, by the Gorillaz. (think ROCKY, only different)

That was remarkable. For those of you interested, I'll provide a link that describes this band better than I can. (you won't read that page, but I'll leave the link here for historical reasons - you'll understand later, in the not-too-distant future)

The gist is the band is a nearly complete fictional universe. It's a "virtual band". They don't quite exist, and yet they create a phenomenal hybrid of music that covers a staggering numbers of genres to create something that is completely unique, super-creative, commercial and never been done like this before. Give it a listen, and if you like it, buy it, or download it off the net and spread the word.

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If you've ever watched the UFC you probably noticed Arianna Celeste. She's the 'card girl', the person who carries the card w/number around the ring to remind you what round we're going into. Almost all MMA fights are 3 rounds total, so we - that is, MMA fans - really do need Arianna to remind us which round we're in cuz we tend to lose count after 1. This girl's a work of art. Am I right?

Well, last month she posed for Playboy.

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My San Francisco 49ers are having a rough season. It all began during pre-season when running back Glen Coffee shocked everyone by suddenly announcing his retirement at age 23. He left football to become a minister. A couple months later he was arrested in Florida for carrying a concealed weapon in his console, cocked and ready to roll. Police pulled him over for speeding, and not wanting to disappoint, he could not provide insurance or registration, but he did have a cross dangling from his rear view mirror.

Think this:

Michael Vick is the quarterback for the Philadelphia Eagles. He did two years for dog fighting and is back to playing, and playing really well, but his reputation as a thug has stuck, and he's in deep-ass debt.
In a post-game interview to a game a couple weeks ago, this riff was provided to reporters by Vicks' favourite receiver DeSean Jackson,

"The pre-game altercation got us going. It had us ready. We came back into the locker room pumped! We were like pit bulls ready to get out of the cage!"

(nevermind)

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The Catholic Church has been overwhelmed with requests for exorcisms, so bishops are holding a workshop in Baltimore. So far 56 bishops and 66 priests have signed up for the two-day training. If you're wondering, signs of demonic possession include scratching, cutting, biting and a strong or violent reaction to holy water. Phew, if it wasn't for the holy water thingie, I'd swear my new kitten is possessed.

I have to give credit where credit is due tho. Last month the Vatican said that "condoms are the lesser of two evils when used to curb the spread of AIDS, even if their use prevents a pregnancy."

I feel a little of me had something to do with this change in policy because over the past few months I've been texting our lord & savior Jesus Christ, who just upgraded to an IPhone4. JC is hot for the new technology. On Black Friday, while thousands camped out at Best Buy the night before to get in on the hot savings, JC was already in the store before it opened! How'd he do that?! The guy must have a gift. And he's insane for the stuff. IPhones, Blackberries, X-Box, you name it, he's got it.

Anyway, here's a verbatim copy of our recent text exchange:

MigRogers: Yo, lord, mah nishmah, wut up?
JC: not my privates, mary's in a tizzy over her burnt leaven
MigRogers: she can't cook, you know that
JC: no kidding, but she's a good lay
MigRogers: practice makes perfect... what you doing now
JC: just left the garden. chilling with my posse, Judas, he's acting all weird, then the Cops came, so we scrammed
MigRogers: cool. got a little request thsi time-"
JC: wut dat
MigRogers: speak to pontiff and have him change a couple of old-skool rulz, say what ya know
JC: I can do that
MigRogers: I know you can, cuz you're Jesus.
JC: LOL
MigRogers: what you up to these days anyway
JC: just been hanging
MigRogers: where most?
JC: where else, the cross, LOL
MigRogers: you kid?
JC: nope, every three days or so like clockwork - it ain't too bad, nice views
MigRogers: they should put a golf course out there - take care
JC: shalom, L'hitraot, I'll save a spot
MigRogers: right beside Mary's little sister i hope
JC: ok, B'seder
MigRogers: shalom

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Here's a little graphics file that has a xmas twist. Love it or leave it. Obviously it's worth watching.

 

 

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And now for the porn. This is the best part. And besides, it's xmas, so it better be special. And it is. Once again, I deserve an Oscar. You can put this file up against any Oscar-nominated short film, side by side, and which one do you think people will watch? I have no doubt. Not a speck of doubt. This is completely filthy - you're going to love it. Enjoy!

Thanks for visiting, and have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

 

Nana, Yoko, Ayana & Maria.

oh yeah