August 09

Sports -

According to the Associated Press: "Sidney Crosby, the Pittsburgh Penguins captain, will be bringing the Stanley Cup to his hometown, Nova Scotia, on August 7th, the day he celebrates his 22nd birthday." (never mind)

Congratulations to Chicago White Sox pitcher Mark Buehle, who threw a no-hitter against Tampa Bay last week. A no-hitter is an extraordinary feat in baseball. There have only been 15 perfect games pitched in major league baseball history. (Actually, 16, if you count the one pitched by David Cone against the Montreal Expos in '99.)

Richard Gasquet, a French tennis player, tested positive for cocaine recently, but argued the test was positive because the night before he kissed a girl in a club. The International Tennis Federation then cleared him of the positive drug test, but offered the advice that he try kissing tennis sluts on the mouth, not the nose.

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The following text is from a recording of an exorcism. (the Jezebel Spirit)

Do you hear voices?
You do, so you are possessed.
You are a believer, born again
And yet you hear voices and you are possessed.
Ok, are you ready to give us a listen?
Put your hand over there.
We want this figured out.
Ok sister;
You have a Jezebel spirit within you
You have a spirit of grief
You have a spirit of destruction.
Jezebel,
Spirit of destruction,
Spirit of grief,
I bind you with chains of iron
I bind you out of that bounded heaven.
Loosen your hold and come out of her now.
(It's no good our sister.)
Out. Out Jezebel.
Come out now
(Go ahead)
Out in the name of Jesus
Come out destruction
Come out destruction
Come out grief
Jezebel you are going to listen to me Jezebel
(Go ahead sister; keep going.
Jezebel will abandon you)
She was intended by God to be a virtuous woman
You have no right to her
Her husband is the head of the house
Out Jezebel. Out. Out.. Let Jesus in.
That's right
I break your power Jezebel
Loosen your hold on her mind
Go ahead sister
Go ahead sister
Use your head
That was easy
You can sit down now.

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Dead Celebs:

Michael Jackson - I know, he already died, but it just doesn't seem like he's quite dead just yet. With any luck, this time next month, he'll be good and dead and we can all get on with our lives.

Merce Cunningham - One of only a few modern dance legends. Died of natural causes at his Manhattan apartment.

Gidget the Chihuahua - The crazy-looking Taco Bell dog who went from kennel-to-stardom, died at 15 years of age last week. She was living in retirement. "Yo quiero Taco Bell." (I want my Taco Bell)

Vernon Forrest - former middle weight boxing champion, died last month at the age of 38. He died of natural causes (he got shot to death... or what I call 'mad brotherly love').

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A golfing friend of mine sent me this link to a video parody of Christian Bale in American Psycho.

A movie to watch that you'd never think of renting:

The Machinist, starring Christian Bale

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Rude Poker Hand:

The other night I was playing in a tournament, and was dealt AQsuited. I flopped the nut straight, a gutshot no less. On the turn I hit the nut flush. On the river the board paired and I lost to a fullhouse when another player had hit a set of 10's on the flop. If it were live poker I could live several lifetimes and never see that sequence again. Since I play on-line, I might see it again in a week.

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Let it Load

The files that appear below are usually in the 60-70mb range in size. If you want to view the file, I'd recommend clicking the link, then wait a couple minutes to let the video load into your browser before hitting the play button. These are progressive downloads, and if your connection is at all slow, or if the server is slow on my side, the video will begin to play and then halt. So you may need to be patient. Enjoy!

 
     
       
  The Jezebel Spirit, starring Yoko - a must-see for the whole family. Especially for the religious-minded, because if you watch this carefully, with the sound turned way up, you'll probably see God. (you'll need to wait for the video to load into your browser first, but if you were told you could meet God if you waited for just 3 minutes, would you wait?)