July 2010            
               
Here is my nephew, Dan, on the mound this summer. Below is a short video of him pitching. He's one of the premier players for his age group in Ontario.
     
           
At left is my niece, Molly, arranging a nature sculpture on the spectators' bench while waiting for her big brother's baseball game to end. Note the pistachio-coloured fingers.
 
               
 

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Oil Spill Calamity Retards, led by President Obama

You won't want to read this if you're a liberal or a Democrat. Just ignore it, turn around and maybe it will all go away.

"We will make BP pay for the damages their company has caused and we will do whatever's necessary to help the Gulf Coast and its people recover from this tragedy." President Obama

No. That won't happen. BP is under no legal obligation to pay for anything. They won't pay. It took 20 years to hand Exxon a bill for 4.5 billion but Exxon has been fighting this ruling in the courts and says it owes only $25 million. Exxon is earning in the neighbourhood of 30+ billion a year in profits, yet they haven't paid any of the money owed to the people who lost their livelihoods in the Valdez spill. The spill in the Gulf of Mexico will be no different.
In Ecuador, Chevron (Texaco) left a toxic mess of oil 30x greater than Exxon Valdez, and they've been in court for a decade, and it's estimated that the court case will continue for at least two more decades. Chevron left that mess in Ecuador in the 1970's, and it's still not cleaned up and none of the people suffering from various cancers have been compensated. And they won't be. Ever. Same goes for the BP oil spill.

Where has our gov't been?

"From the very beginning of this crisis, the federal government has been in charge of the largest environmental cleanup effort in our nation's history." President Obama

Houston we have a problem.

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Photoshop gone overboard. Here is a before & after of BabyPhat owner, Kimora Lee Simmons.

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If you use Firefox, and if you don't you should, then consider adding a very cool add-on (extension) called Download Helper. Basically any media you run into on the net will be queued up for you to dl onto your computer, including all those horrible videos on YouTube people like to send in their emails in lieu of a link to that file just to drive you batty. It's pay back time.

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Now I know why Avatar didn't win best picture at the Oscars. I watched it.

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Just the fact ma'am...

Ann Curry, the co-host of The Today Show, delivered the commencement address at Wheaton College in Norton, Mass. recently. During the speech she mentioned notable alumni, such as Leslie Stahl, Billy Graham, Wes Craven, and others. The problem: only Leslie Stahl had graduated from Wheaton College. The others had graduated from Wheaton College, a Christian liberal arts college in Wheaton, Illinois. Thank you for that. And you are delivering us our news everyday. I'm glad she can read a teleprompter cuz we wouldn't want her writing the script herself. She gets points for being good-looking and she likes to jump out of airplanes.

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I sold out and got a cell phone. I dropped the land line and bought a phone that can tell me the distance to the pin, distance over bunkers, over water, or distances to lay up. It plays music, and can take picture and videos. It can tell me what the weather is at any moment anywhere in the world. I can browse the web and write emails with it, too.
I don't know how to use any of that, tho. So my new phone is a fancy clock. I like it.

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Congratulations to Ai Miyazato, after winning her 4th tournament of the year. In a matter of months she vaulted from 8th ranked, to top ranked female player in the world.
Check out those socks!

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World Cup Soccer

Soccer must have been invented by a married man. He wanted to spend all afternoon walking around a large open space doing mostly nothing without having hear his wife nag. But if you're thinking that the Vuvuzela horns were invented to drown out the sounds of his wife nagging him to cut the lawn and rake the leaves, you'd be wrong. Those horns were invented to keep everyone awake while they're watching the game.


Baseball is a complicated game with more rules than golf. Here are some unwritten rules that you may not have known.

1. Don't swing on the first pitch after back-to-back home runs. That's not cool. Let the pitcher find the strike zone.
2. If you get hit by a pitch, don't rub the area of your body that was hit. This is a message sent from the batter to the pitcher.
3. Don't stand on any part of the dirt when a pitcher is warming up. The dirt area is sacred ground owned by the pitcher during the warm up.
4. When entering the batter box space, never walk between the umpire/catcher and the pitcher. If either the umpire or catcher are in your way, you are supposed to walk around them.
5. Don't help the opposition make a play. If a guy goes running for a foul ball and looks like he's going to kill himself by falling into the dugout, don't break his fall. That's his problem.
6. Relievers are supposed to take it easy on other relievers who are hitting. The reason is because relievers don't hit unless the game is probably out of reach.
7. Respect the umpire code. This means you can say, "That call was a piece of shit." You can't say, "You're a piece of shit."
8. Pitchers who are pulled from the game are supposed to stay in the dugout at least until the end of the inning. This is out of respect for your own teammates.
9. Pitchers must not show displays of displeasure with their infielders. If a guy makes an error, the pitcher is supposed to act like nothing happened.
10. When turning a routine double play, the shortstop or 2nd baseman does not have to have his foot on the bag, it only needs to be close. The idea is they have to catch and throw while their feet are 'near' the bag, but not necessarily on the bag. They only need to 'turn' the double play.

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This is a sample of the devastation caused by a recent earthquake in the Ottawa area, photo courtesy of Jo Gonzales.

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Magic

Wow, that was the coolest thing I've seen all day! And the card trick was pretty good too! Bravo!

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Graphics

There seems to a lot of confusion about the dancing videos on this site. I don't think I can explain it to you. I will say this, tho, which is a big hint: it is all the same thing. It doesn't matter. It could be dancing chicks, or dancing chickens. Almost all the dancing chicks look like aliens, which is a good thing. I like that. And therein lies the problem. If the videos were of something else, maybe you could grapple with it, but they're not, so that's a problem. They could be turtles, or leaves, or a tree, or absolutely nothing at all, like in this thing, something I'll call:

The Dancing Coloured Lines

See, it's not always about the Chinese chicks. It's just that I like it that way, so that's the way it is. You just can't understand it. So I hope you enjoy the Dancing Coloured Lines, and put your right and left side of your brains in sync for a couple seconds and try to figure it out for yourself. Next month I'll invite the tree in front of my house to a rave after I've watered it with a combination of water and ecstasy. Just wait and see. It's coming in August. A dancing tree.

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And now for the awesome porn. This is beautiful. Two of God's most beautiful creatures: Aya Fukunaga & Yua Aida. This isn't for the Christians tho. It's too scary for Christians. The Muslims might like it. Enjoy, and thanks for visiting.